A few days ago, I wrote an article on women’s worth, Family Matters. It referenced how over time, many women feel as though they need to work for their worth. Over and over again throughout the scriptures, God continually shares how we are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, and a people belonging to Him.
What I didn’t realize, throughout my own struggle of seeing the value God has placed on me, was the extent to which we, as people, allow the words (opinions, thoughts, judgments, and conclusions) of others determine our value. Sure, I’d like to tell you that I’m always strong, confident, and unshaken, but unfortunately, I’m not. I am relieved, however, that I’m not the only person prone to struggle.
"Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. 'Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?' " Matthew 26:40
The scriptures share that our Lord Himself wrestled in the garden of Gethsemane, as well as our patriarch Jacob, who wrestled all night with an angel of God. These times when our confidence wanes, we are eager to seek counsel from friends, confidants, and counselors. Somehow, the written word is not enough. We need it these spiritual encouragements validated by a physical person.
“Barbara, tell me I’m not crazy. I have been an emotional wreck and I just need a listening ear.”
“Pamela, you’re not crazy, God loves you. He’s with you. All you need to do is [this or that].”
Confidence is restored. I’m all better.
But what happens when friends, sometimes even family, share opinions, thoughts, judgments, or conclusions that hurt? I could think that I am the only person in America who has encountered this, but I think not. How do you rise above when someone discusses you negatively to a close friend? Or someone tells you that you just aren’t made to be [this or that]?
It could go farther: someone could step on and over you to move up, or to feel better about themselves. Even worse, someone in a position over you [typically in work situations, but also family or spiritual settings] could belittle or slight you in efforts to impose their authority. It’s very sad, but I’ve either been in or counseled others in all of these circumstances.
Before I became a Christian, I chose to ‘get tough’ in these types of situations. I said I wouldn’t let anything bother me. Some of you girls know the ‘tough-girl routine.’ We shrug it off, and outwardly give the impression that we’ve moved on. But inwardly, those words, those cutting remarks, those criticisms to other friends, those comments hurt. Late at night, or at a brief pauses in the day, those words repeat in our minds, especially on days when our confidence wanes.
The greatest encouragement I have received came from studying Romans 9. I would encourage you to read the entire chapter; it’s so faith-building. Paul begins by sharing that he’s in anguish because he desires that his own people, the people of Israel, would know and understand God in the way that he had come to know God. He realizes that his belonging to God has nothing to do with his physical ancestry, but it was only through faith that men and women are adopted as sons and daughters of God. But the people of Israel in his day trusted in their physical ancestry as their entitlement to being God’s people (Romans 9: 6-8). After these words come the wonderful encouragement from God:
“ ‘I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.’ It does not, therefore, depend on man’s effort, but on God’s mercy.” Romans 9:15-16
The Amplified Bible shares verse 16:
So then [God's gift] is not a question of human will and human effort, but of God's mercy. [It depends not on one's own willingness nor on his strenuous exertion as in running a race, but on God's having mercy on him.]
And do you know what began to sink in?
Words hurt.
It’s true.
But who I am, and what I become is not determined by what men (or women) say or think, their will, effort, authority, or judgments.
Who I am depends on God.
No one, absolutely no one, knows what God has in store for you or for me.
“For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son,”
The most we know is that in walking on this narrow path, God has revealed that we will be conformed into the likeness of Christ. We will become more like Jesus.
No one , not even ourselves, knows how, or where, or when, or in what way.
No one knows if God will have mercy on you, or compassion on me, or who I will become, or who you will become.
“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
“Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
We have been Chosen.
Those of us that “he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.” Romans 8:30
Take heart my sisters! Through the encouragement of the scriptures, we have hope. We have true hope, not in our plans, not in someone else’s plans for us, and not in the words that may have damaged us and keep repeating insufficiency during our doubtful moments.
Through the encouragement of the scriptures we have hope that God has laid out a plan for our lives, He is directing our steps, and he is shaping us into what He desires. I'm learning to put the ‘tough girl’ aside, and rest in the strength of God, who is walking ahead of me, chartering my course and directing my footsteps.
“Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.” Isaiah 58:8
... And To God Be The Glory!
